bones_the_dog's Journal

8:23pm: EVREYON E BUT EM = FUCKIGN CLOWN SHOSES
Why did my lief go from cnstantt attention adn party to sujtting in an attic apament all day by myself??"
everyone of my old rommates is fukcingg dead to mee., you nver come and visot, basstrds. olny time i see anyone is when im bruhgt to hoggins or a praty and guess what?!...you are all drnk and makin g yourselfs look fuckimg foolihsh. unbeleivbale, un-fcking-believable. im sorrry, im jurst raellly drunkd right now. kevin spilted a 40 ozer of schlitzitzez in the kuthchenn and had me claen it up, im totally loadedd. i think i just barffd up a waynes world hta. i dont rmember eating that.

7:40pm: My fucking head....
Jesus christ, what happened last nite? I woke up at 11 with a throbbing headache and even more throbbing dog boner. I guess last nite i had my lipstick all up in joe "six-pack" potter's supple behind. I dont think this is a new thing for him though, i had to tongue jack my push pop after he passed out. Dirty mother fucker was begging for a reach around too... Anyhow It all started when that fucking rube next door came over and started feeding me alcohol on the front steps. Then you know how it goes; 2 hours later i was blowing H off of Iain's taint. Motherfucker. Well I gotta go chew something up to show these pricks that im outa dog food. And to all my bitches out there keep your fucking eyes peeled cuz you never know when im gonna be sticking my enormous dog wang in ya face.
Peace, kibbles
Boneston T. Dog, Esquire

9:51pm: happy independence day
i hope yer all having a motherfucking blast tonight cuz im stuck in the house with iain who is apparently too drunk to take me out to piss. fucking selfish prick. i swear to lassie if i have to hear the new york dolls one more goddamn time i am gonna start biting people. im gonna go shit behind the blue recliner. later

5:21pm: here's also another picture of me totally fuckin shit up like i own the place:

2:42pm: so here's a picture of me when i was younger. ladies - try not to drool.





and this is me a few months ago, looking extra evil. i think its because my buddy Iain is trying to steal some shit from me.

4:13pm: Get me the fuck out of this godforsaken hellhole
The state house is a fucking mess right now. all i want is someone to take me for a fucking walk but everyone is too preoccupied to take my adorable ass for a motherfucking stroll. kevin is playing video games, halsey is standing in front of the mirror, katie's at work, iain is nursing a hangover, i dont even know where emma is and rick is sleeping. not to mention that everyone is moping around the house with some kind of problem. i wish will still lived here at least he walked me.

4:18pm: so yeah, i'm new to this shit. i had some help making it...because i don't have opposable thumbs and shit. anyway, i spent the last few days at grandma-ma's house (she's insane, no joke) chewing shit up and running around in her backyard and shit. now i'm back in the city, fucking bro-ing out with the ricksta and iain motherfuckin lyons out about last night's party that i missed. i kinda wanted to go i heard it was wall to wall pussy up in that bitch. apparently rick got in a bathtub with rufio and chris....you know rufio, i licked his nuts one time in the hallway when noone was looking. yeah so i'll probably be stuck in the house again tonight while everyone is out getting drunk chopping down trees and hitting eachother with dead fish and shit. i miss out on all the fun. and they wonder why i chew up all their important stuff.

ok, well i think i'm gonna go lick rick's leather pants...i'm out like JP from the closet.